Oh Honey…No

Sorry to Burst Your Bubble, But the Year is 2009…Not 9 March 7, 2009

Filed under: Ugly shoes — Amy @ 2:00 pm

Things I hate, in no particular order:

1.  Tomatoes


2.  Soprano Saxophones (and by extension, Kenny G)


3.  Babies dressed as plants *cough*anngeddes*cough*


4.  Gladiator Sandals

I don’t know who started the recent trend of the Gladiator Sandals, but they deserve to be locked in a room and forced to listen to Kenny G while eating tomatoes and staring at Ann Geddes pictures for hours on end.  And if that sounds good to you, you seriously need to rethink your standards of fun.  So what brought on this recent rant about gladiator sandals?  DSW, my favorite shoe store (and a little piece of heaven on earth) sends me emails about sales, trends, and what they call their “style guide.”  My sister asked me if I had seen the most recent style guide, so I logged into my email and was greeted by this atrocity:


Why?!  For some reason, the bottom of this picture got cut off, but at the bottom it said, “These shoes are great alternatives to flip flops. They’re so versatile, you can WEAR THEM WITH ALMOST ANYTHING!”  Ugh!  I will tolerate the wearing of these sandals under one condition:  It’s the first century a.d. and you’re fighting in the colloseum, because then maybe the lions will have a chance to eat these hideous shoes.


A Well-Deserved Fate November 24, 2008

Filed under: Ugly shoes — Amy @ 3:58 pm

Anyone who knows me knows that I hate crocs.  I do not care that they are supposedly the most comfortable shoes on the planet; they look like giant clown shoes made out of dried play-doh.  Thanks to stumbleupon, everyone’s favorite time waster, I found this comic that made my day.



Marc Jacobs is My Current Favorite Ugly Shoe Designer November 19, 2008

Filed under: Ugly shoes — Amy @ 11:34 am

Don’t get me wrong, Marc Jacobs has also designed some fabulous shoes, but occasionally he comes out with shoes that make you want to bang your head against the desk and say, “why? Why?!”

Allow me to present Exhibit A, the wedge tennis shoe:


Some things are great when combined.  Peanut butter and jelly.  Cookies and milk.  You get the idea.  However, some things are better left separate.  Tennis shoes should never have heels.  Ever.  Just stash these in the museum of bad ideas along with

New Coke, refresh-new-cokeCrystal Pepsi, crystal-pepsi and these beauties.bootsideburns

Moving on to Exhibit B, the creepy Mary Jane boots:


Normally, I have nothing against Mary Janes (unless they have an ugly heel–Traci turned me into a heel snob).  In fact, after watching the movie Penelope I have been wanting my own pair of green Mary Janes.

penelope1 So cute!

Anyways, these boots by Marc Jacobs creep me out.  Not as much as spiders or Richard Simmons, but they’re still creepy.  Why would anyone want a shoe that looks like it has half a leg sticking out of it is beyond me.

Finally, I give you Exhibit C, the backwards heel shoe:


Dear Marc Jacobs,


Sincerely, Me

’nuff said