Confession: I love the commercials for all of the “As Seen on TV” crap such as the Snuggie (everyone’s favorite blanket with sleeves that’s really just a backwards robe) and the Stick Up Bulb (basically a flashlight without a handle). I once watched an infomercial for the Tobi for about 20 minutes, completely mesmerized and thinking, “I would use that every day,” before I snapped out of it and went to bed. In my defense, it was 2 in the morning, and as we all know, fatigue clouds judgment. I think all of these products are absolutely ridiculous, and the commercials for them are even more ridiculous yet surprisingly enlightening. For example, had it not been for the Snuggie commercial I would have never known just how cumbersome blankets are. All my life I had believed that it was possible to answer the phone while snuggled under a blanket. Oh how wrong I was! Thank you, Snuggie, for showing me the truth.
Anyways, this past weekend it was brought to my attention that eavesdropping on other people’s conversations has apparently become increasingly difficult. But no need to worry. Now you can be a stalker too with your very own Loud ‘n Clear.
Here are a few of my favorite lines from the commercial. “What can you do when it’s hard to hear, but you don’t want to miss hearing a word?…Simply turn up the volume on what people around you are saying!…So powerful you can even hear conversations from across the street….Ever wonder what people are saying when you can’t hear them? With Loud ‘n Clear you can discretely listen in.” If that doesn’t sound like something from a How-To-Be-A-Creepy-Stalker book, I don’t know what does.
But my favorite part about this ridiculous product is the fact that they made it look like a bluetooth headset. Because if you’re hard of hearing, why would you want some small discrete hearing aid when you could wear this and look like one of the “cool kids” with their fancy bluetooth headsets?*see side rant* So if you need help eavesdropping on what the neighbors have to say, just use the money you got from Cash4Gold and buy yourself a Loud ‘n Clear today! (Stalkers’ binoculars and how-to book not included)
*Side rant about bluetooth headsets* Ok…I have no problem with people using these so they can talk on their cell phones while driving, but is it really that difficult to switch back to a normal phone once you get out of your car? Because half the time people don’t see the little thing attached to your ear and you just end up looking like some moron wandering around Wal-Mart talking to yourself.