So here’s how my night went last Monday. My friend Jamie called me around 5 and asked if I wanted to come over. We hung out at her house for a little while, but Jamie hadn’t been having the best day and needed to get out of her house. So we decided to go to…brace yourself for the excitement…Wal-Mart (there’s not much else to do in Sonora). We purchased an assortment of random things and then decided to get some dinner. We went up the hill to Round Table and got a pizza and one of Jamie’s friends, I think her name was Sharon, met us there. When Sharon arrived she announced that she wanted to do some Christmas shopping and wanted to know if we wanted to go with her. We agreed and, surprise surprise, she wanted to shop at Wal-Mart. Jamie and I got into her car only to find out that it wouldn’t start. Well isn’t that just peachy. We decided to hitch a ride to the store with Sharon, and then on our way back we could try to jump-start her car.
After spending about an hour in Wal-Mart (again), we made it back to Round Table, this time with Sharon’s husband who successfully managed to jump-start Jamie’s car. Yay! But then Jamie noticed she was very low on gas. Boo! Across the street from Round Table was a Shell station and a Taco Bell. Jamie’s friends said that while we got gas, they would go to Taco Bell, and then once they got their food they would come over to make sure we got going again. Apparently after jump-starting a car, you’re supposed to leave that car running for at least 15 minutes. We were not aware of this rule, so, of course, Jamie’s car refused to start after we got gas. We waited for her friends to get their food from the drive-through, and while we were waiting we noticed a strange ticking noise coming from Jamie’s car. I told her it was Patrick the car gremlin. Jamie opened the hood and found that the noise was coming from the fuse box (the natural habitat of the car gremlin), but since neither one of us are big car people, we were afraid to touch anything.
Meanwhile, as Patrick continued to type out his last will and testament in Morse Code, Jamie’s friends finally made it out of the drive -through (by now it’s around 9:30), but they said they wanted to eat before trying to jump-start Jamie’s car again. I guess I missed the “thou shalt not eat and jump-start a car at the same time” commandment. Whatever. We waited. And waited. And waited. That bag of food from Taco Bell turned into a clown car. The burritos just kept coming! Eventually they did finish eating, and Jamie and I thought we were finally going to be able to go home. We were wrong. Jamie’s car still refused to start. I guess we had pissed off Patrick one too many times, and he was not going to let us leave.
Luckily (or so I thought) I have roadside assistance insurance through AT&T, so I figured it was a good time to use it and just get a tow truck. After talking with Shakita for about 20 minutes, during which time I had to tell her about 3 times that I was in Sonora, not Sonoma, I was put on hold. I got to listen to some stereotypical crappy jazz hold music (think Kenny G), followed by some blusey stripper song (that was kind of fun), and finally Shakita told me she would call once she was able to get us a tow truck.
And so we waited. And waited. And while we were waiting we suddenly heard: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! You know that squealing sound hearing aids make when the battery is dying? That’s what a dying car gremlin sounds like. Fast forward to 11:30 (random fact: during our 2 hour wait Taco Bell’s door fell off, but don’t worry! they fixed it), the tow truck finally came! Yay! Jason the nice tow truck man was greeted by me and Jamie jumping up and down, cheering and laughing like idiots. We had never been so happy to see a tow truck. Jason managed to get Jamie’s car going again, and after almost 2 1/2 hours at the gas station, we were able to go home.